Facing weak race attendance and declining sponsorship, Daytona Motorsports Group, which runs AMA Superbike racing, has decided to implement the most radical restructuring of the Superbike rules package in series history. The RSF blog obtained an exclusive interview with DMG’s Vice President for Advancement of Show Strategy to get an explanation.
RSF: We understand that there are some major changes planned for the 2013 AMA Superbike season. Can you explain the thinking behind the new rules?
DMG: First of all, I gotta read this little bitty piece of paper the boss gave me and say that all of us at Daytona Motorsports Group are committed to putting on the best show and bringing new fans to Superbike racing. Did that come out right?
RSF: Very well presented.
DMG: Great. Now the whole idea for the new rules came out of our regular Monday morning beer, barbeque and debrief breakfast after the NASCAR race in Phoenix. We saw how much publicity we got from the brawl between Jeff Gordon’s crew and Clint Bowyer’s crew. That was worth something like eleventy million dollars worth of free publicity and every dang one of the commentators on Speed TV’s fourteen hours of post-race coverage said it was “good for the sport.” So that got us thinking and we went back and took a look at the finish of the Vance & Hines XR1200 race at New Orleans, where Tyler O’Hara grabbed Michael Barnes’ arm to hold him back as they were racing to the finish line. That’s the kind of action that gets people talking, so we came to the realization that instead of penalizing Tyler, like we did, we should be rewarding that kind of hard racing.
RSF: So you’re going to do that with rule changes?
DMG: Exactly. We’ve come up with three major changes. First up is the Grab Ass to Pass Button. In NASCAR, which is a real man’s sport, if you’ve got a beef with another driver you just hit him and crash him into the wall. Fans love that, but we realized that’s not a real good option in motorcycle racing.
RSF: Because of the likelihood of injury to riders, right?
DMG: That’s not really it. Motorcycle racers are a dime a dozen these days. With all the sponsors we’ve lost, we have way more racers to go around than there are rides. No, the real problem is that clearing away the bodies tends to mess up the TV schedule and Speed just hates it when the next episode of “Dumbest Stuff on Wheels” gets delayed. That’s some funny shit right there!
RSF: I see. So how does the Grab Ass to Pass Button work?
DMG: Well like I was saying, real man NASCAR drivers just crash each other, but those other nancy-boy car racing series, like Formula One and Indy Car, had to come up with other ways to get more passing, like the Drag Reduction System in F1 or the push to pass button in Indy Car. In Superbike, we decided to do something similar and make Tyler’s XR1200 move part of the show. Each motorcycle will have a horizontal arm on the tail of the bike that extends 12 inches beyond the bodywork on each side with a button on each end. If you can reach out and push one of those buttons on a competitor’s bike, it will automatically reduce his horsepower by 15 for 15 seconds, so you can pass. It’s genius, don’t ya think? We’ll have people rubbing paint and passing for sure. It’ll also be legal to grab on and get a tow, too.
RSF: OK, that’s one. What are the other changes?
DMG: Number two is the Josh Pit.
RSF: Mosh pit?
DMG: No, Josh Pit, you idiot. We named it for Josh Hayes, because he pretty much ruined the show in 2012 and we’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Most of the tracks where we race have a chicane, and we are going to create a place where the racer can go straight instead of following the chicane, but the catch is that we’re going to tear up the grass or gravel or asphalt and water it down so it’s good and muddy. Then if anybody gets a lead of more than 10 seconds, race control will show him the brown flag and he has to ride through the Josh Pit mud. That should tighten up the competition. No more runaway 20-second victories. Someone tries to ruin our show we’ll send him through the Josh Pit as many times as we have to, and we can always water it down some more during the race, too. It’s kinda like a NASCAR “competition yellow,” only better.
RSF: I’m afraid to ask about number three.
DMG: It’s called the Second Chance Podium Dash. Instead of the usual post-race podium ceremony, the racers who finish second and third have another chance to improve their positions. Each racer and up to three crew members, who can be armed with one tool apiece, not to be larger than a 22mm box-end wrench, have the opportunity to sprint 40 yards to the podium and grab whatever trophy they want. Pretty much anything goes in that 40-yard dash, so we expect the beatin’ and bangin’ and kneecappin’ will make that Gordon-Bowyer thing look like two pre-school girls fighting over Barbie dolls. Frankly, the whole swapping hats for photos and spraying champagne thing had gotten real boring. Why does the action have to stop when the checkered flag flies? We’re going to give the fans a reason to stick around and buy some more beer even after the race is done.
RSF: Aren’t you concerned that these changes will alienate long-time loyal roadracing fans? I can just hear people saying you’re making a travesty of the sport. Isn’t racing about competing to see who is fastest, who has the skill and daring to get to the finish line first, fair and square?
DMG: That’s just the kind of antiquated thinking that we have to leave behind. This is not a sport, it’s a show, and we can’t go up against American Idol and WWE with some Mark Hallwood kinda crap…
RSF: Mike Hailwood.
DMG: Whatever. The point is we don’t have a choice. Have you seen the attendance trends at Superbike races? Hell, have you seen the NASCAR attendance figures in recent years? We can’t rely on those so-called loyal roadracing fans. I got my doubts about some of ’em anyway. Probably closet Formula One fans who don’t own a single Dale Earnhardt Jr. beer cooler among ‘em. No siree, Daytona Motorsports Group is looking to the future, not the past, and we’re going to take AMA Superbike to a whole new level, with hordes of new yahoos, I mean fans.
RSF: And if your plan doesn’t work?
DMG: We’ll just sell Superbike back to the AMA for ten cents on the dollar.
This is hilarious and sad at the same time, for the same reason — it’s close to the truth.